traveller's dilemma

first post.

what do i write? mainly, this will be about me and my travels. i am not a writer. i am a goof when it comes to words and i made this blog because a lot of people have told me to do so in order to keep my memories intact. i look up to the great writers who never fail to always rouse up the spirits of their readers for when i read my past writings, there's always this disgust i feel at the magnitude of cheesiness or shallowness i was in at the time of the writing.

for me, writing about my experiences is not enough. i remember having this talk with my german friend and we both agreed that after travelling and you get back home, settle in and get back to your normal pace of living, friends and family will always ask, "how was it? tell me all about it!" personally, i always take a moment, remember a sliver of the summary of the trip i just had and say, "Bitin. Masaya pero bitin." for me, this answer works both for me and the ones who ask me. in truth, it is always not enough, at least for me it's not. and for the one who asks, they will also be bitin with my answer. my point here is that i can't summarize what i went through in words and i honestly don't want to compare what i have written down to the real experience.

no one will understand the feeling i was going through when i landed in saigon and the first cab i took had a driver who spoke no english while we passed through slums and that before i rode that cab, i was just listening to a track from the album of The Beach with the line, " i'm gonna die in a place that don't know my name..." playing over and over in my head. my impulse trip which started with a 'book me the cheapest flight out of the country!' to my travel agent just the day before suddenly seemed not such a good idea. and how despite all this, it eventually turned out to be one of the most fortunate trips i have taken to date.* this one's for another post

no one will understand how i travelled to the US with no check in luggage and before coming back home with almost an overweight check in and handcarry luggages, i had to fly from SC to Atlanta then to San Francisco where i had to take the BART to Civic center and hoping to save a few bucks, decided to walk with my luggage around the streets of SF to the place of my friend who i met in Saigon a few months back only to cramp up halfway and finally deciding to take the bus wherein i wasted the valuable minutes of the passengers by taking so long in loading my bags in the bus.

unless you were with me then, the exact moment with the right amount of humidity in the air, or exact temperature of the night or day or the smells and sounds at that exact spot in this world then i as the author of this blog has failed in sharing the genuine feeling of my experiences.

even though this is my stand, i will still attempt to write. so as to trigger such memories in the future when i am too old to wander the streets of this world. but, i will apologize to my readers that i can't fully share my experience. Bitin parati.

p.s. how do you say bitin in english??? 'not enough' seems too dramatic. short? amiss?

goes and wanders